Updated: Feb 1
I had an incredible weekend celebrating love, laughter, reminiscing with family & friends, & the scenery was pretty amazing too! Weddings are such amazing events as they are all about two people’s love story, right? What could be better?
So today, I am so excited to be talking to you about 10 Simple Ways to Create A Happy Long Lasting Marriage! 🙂
It was perfect timing for me as my husband & I will be celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary today. Listening to the vows exchanged & seeing such new beginnings made me reflect on the last 25 years of our marriage & how we have managed to still be so in love with each other today.
It was a weekend of total joy! That joy that can bring tears to your eyes at any given second because you’re so overwhelmed with happiness! This is the happiness that everyone should have in their lives! This is what life is all about! 🙂
I remember the day that my husband proposed to me so well! We had gone on vacation to a the Kingdom of Tonga. It was so beautiful & so different from anything that I had ever seen before, it was magical.
We were sitting on the beach one evening listening to music & I heard my name coming from the radio, then I heard my husband’s voice singing a song to me! It was unbelievable & very unexpected! At the end he asked me to me to marry him! It was pretty darn amazing so of course I said yes! 🙂
It was that day that changed our lives forever & I am very grateful for that! Since that day we have been on one of the best, yet craziest journeys of all! I would love to share with you all a 10 steps that have helped us get through those tough times, because there have been some for sure, & come out loving & respecting each other even more after 25 years together. 🙂
These all seem so easy, all things that we have heard before, however, we truly can get caught up in our daily routines of life & really forget the importance of these things. They all have been the life changers for us & I hope that they can be of some inspiration for you all too!
10 Simple ways to create a happy long-lasting marriage!
1. Be grateful for one another each & every day no matter what!
Yes, I know that this can be hard because we are individuals & we can’t see eye to eye all of the time, but be GRATEFUL that you have each other! Be grateful that you both loved each other enough to make that commitment to be each others life partners!
Take time to be grateful for all of the little things that he/she does throughout the day, whether it is doing dishes, laundry, giving you a kiss, calling you, or sending a text throughout the day, saying they love you, work, etc. whatever it may be, make sure you let them know how grateful you are!
I write notes for my husband frequently letting him know that I appreciate him & what he does for our family! Every day throughout our marriage before I have gone to bed, I have taken the time to be grateful for my husband, even if I am so mad at him that I can’t speak to him! 🙂
I still go through everything I am grateful for in my head, & he is ALWAYS one of them. It is a great way to calm myself & get myself to put things back into perspective! 🙂
2. Grow together over the years, not apart!
This one is very powerful!
In 25 years I have watched this take place so many times in other relationships! It is EASY to let happen! When you have children & careers, it can be tough to juggle a marriage too! Many find themselves on different paths after 25 years of being together, because life got away from them & the focus was on the kids & work, not themselves as a couple.
Make sure to find time to connect as a family doing something that you ALL love to do, but also take the time find new hobbies as a couple.
Just be aware about your growth as a couple, because as our children grow older & leave our homes it becomes just the two of you once again. If you have grown apart throughout this portion of your life, it can be very hard to reconnect as a couple. I have seen it too many times!
Our family loves skiing together, traveling, camping, riding motorcycles, all kind of things, however, my husband & I enjoy doing these things by ourselves too! It is very, very important! 🙂
I cannot express how important this is! This is the one key that helps you grow together instead of growing apart!
It keeps the fun & excitement in your marriage & allows you to both have time to love & support each other as individuals not as parents! I know that sounds crazy, right? But it is true!
After having 4 children, my husband & I were just trying to keep our heads above water. It was very challenging at certain points & honestly, not much fun! That changed, as we both realized we had to take time for us, no matter how hard it was, it had to happen!
After one of our more challenging times, I went ahead and booked a weekend getaway for the two of us & that literally changed everything. We had time to talk things through, have fun, found some new hobbies that we both love doing together, & since that point we make sure to take the time for one another!
It doesn’t have to be elaborate! Go on a hike, sit on the hilltop with a bottle of wine, whatever it may be, make sure to take that time together! It will be a life changer for you both in the future & will help you grow together, not apart. I promise! 😉
4. Remember we are all individuals.
This is so important because as the years go by we ALL change! You cannot expect your partner to always be exactly the same! We are all individuals going through this journey together, but evolving at separate speeds!
I know that I LOVE reading & learning, and I get so excited about what I am learning that I want my husband to be doing the same thing! I want him to read, listen to, watch all of these things that I watch, because I know how powerful they are! However, he is not at that point in his life right now! Don’t get me wrong, he is very positive, but he has different things that he is passionate about & that is GREAT! He should!
This has been a very hard lesson for me, because I can be pretty impatient! I used to get angry at his lack of excitement for sharing these things with him! 🙂
But…I have learned that instead of forcing my ideas on him, I continue to learn & grow for myself & in the end he grows & learns from watching me & vice versa! It is a beautiful thing & it always works out! 🙂
5. We are constantly learning & evolving so be patient & communicate with one another!
This is so important! I was very young when I got married, so of course, I have changed immensely over the last 25 years, as everyone does! It is important to love, encourage, & support your partner as we continue to grow all of the time. 🙂
I know that this has been tough on both my husband & I at times as change can be difficult, but you have to realize the importance of allowing this process to happen!
This can be such a beautiful process if you have open communication with one another along the way…be grateful for being able to learn & evolve, as incredible things happen from it. This is where the magic happens…so stay in tune with one another. 🙂
6. Be mindful of emotions.
Life is beautiful, challenging, & exciting, right? But, along with that comes so many different emotions. I have cried a few oceans of tears over 25 years! Sometimes, all that I need is a big tight hug, a few encouraging words to know that everything is going to be OK, & I am fine! 🙂
Each stage of life causes emotions, from complete joy to absolute devastation. Everyone goes through these stages in different ways. Unfortunately, there is no text-book on how to weather these storms, so just being aware of their emotions, be loving, supporting, & acknowledge their feelings as this can make the world of difference!
As I am getting older, I have noticed that I can be an emotional wreck for no reason at all! I was crying this weekend from that massive amounts of joy that I had….who knew, right? Smile & enjoy the ride! 🙂
7. You MUST look at all of the good qualities in your spouse, & take the time let them know that you’re grateful for those qualities.
This is a must! We all have qualities about us that our partners may not like, that is part of individualism that we talked about earlier. However, do not spend time dwelling on them! It creates more of what you don’t like! Instead look at the behaviors that you LOVE about your partner & focus on that!This was life changing for me!
10 years ago I started writing in my journal about the things that he does to make me happy & all of the things I am grateful for in him & all of a sudden the negative traits disappeared! It is like being pregnant, all of a sudden you see a million pregnant ladies that you have never noticed before. This is because you’re focusing on your pregnancy so all of a sudden pregnant women is all you see!
This is a life saver! Try it & you will be amazed at the difference that you feel within yourself & towards your partner! 🙂
8. Dream together.
This is SO IMPORTANT!
As we get married & we started growing our families we can lose sight of dreaming very easily. We become all consumed with paying our bills, getting kiddos to school, sports, etc. & all of a sudden we forget all about the dreams we had.
I know this from experience! After our house burned down in 2015 my husband & I found ourselves in this really weird spot. It was such a crazy time in our lives & we lost sight of so many things! I realized that we were no longer dreaming together. We had become stagnant.
I remember going into my husband’s office & asking “what are your dreams?” he looked at me puzzled & said “I don’t even know anymore”. That absolutely broke my heart! I couldn’t believe that we had gotten to that point as dreaming was our favorite thing to do! I vowed at that time to never let life get in the way of dreaming!
Dreaming is so important for our growth & is the key to manifesting things that we want in life! It is healthy & inspiring for couples to dream together. It brings you closer together, it’s fun, & gives you something to look forward too together! 🙂
9. Set goals together.
There is a reason I put this directly under dreaming as they go hand in hand!
When you communicate & dream together you automatically begin to set goals with one another. This is BEAUTIFUL & the key to unlocking a very prosperous, healthy relationship!
When my husband & I go on a date this is what we talk about! There are no kids & we can take the time to talk about our dreams, how we are going to accomplish them, by setting our goals! There is nothing more exciting than setting goals together!
It truly has been one of my favorite things to do with my husband! We can sit on the patio with a glass of wine & dream forever…the amazing part of that is when you both have the same dreams it is so powerful that they can be manifested more quickly…which is a subject I will talk about in one of my other posts soon! 🙂
10. HAVE FUN!
Laugh together, joke with one another, dance, sing, take chances, travel, be silly, whatever way you like to have fun, DO IT!
My parents have been married for over 50 years & they still have so much fun together! It is so inspiring! At the wedding they were dancing all by themselves on the dance floor & everyone in that room could see the love that they shared with one another. It was exuding from their entire being. You could tell that they were focused on one another & no one else! What an important lesson for us all to learn!
Life is about you & your partner so take the time to dance in the kitchen (we do), dance in the rain, date each other, laugh uncontrollably, grow together not apart, flirt, be silly, whatever it is just have fun! Who care what others think….it is about the two of you, no one else! We only live once & who wants to leave this world with regrets? Right? 🙂
This really sums it up guys! These have been our game changers over the years & I hope that they will be yours as well! 🙂
My husband & I have been through so much in our 25 years together, but we have learned & become stronger from each & every obstacle that we have ever been through. We have shed many tears over the years as we took care of his dad until he passed, his mom with Alzheimer’s until she passed, we’ve said good-bye to some of our very best friends when they died too young, my little brother whom also passed too young, our aunts, uncles, my grandparents, we had the loss of our business, our house burning down, & much more!
Through all of this we have learned some very important lessons about love, commitment, & making it through the very tough times! These steps above are what helped us to get through & come out even stronger than before!
I am excited & ready to conquer the next 25 crazy years together with my incredible, sometimes stubborn, handsome guy & I hope that you all are excited to strengthen your relationships too! 🙂
So everyone….Continue to Dance like no one is watching, Sing like no one is listening, Love like you have never been hurt, Live as though heaven is on earth!
This is what life & love is all about! 🙂
So cheers to 25 years! 🙂
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